i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize