I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
