Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
