I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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