In the future we'll all be gay
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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