those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
