Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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