I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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