O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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