let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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