My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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