totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
