i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
