with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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