Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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