I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
