I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
