i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
