please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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