Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
