And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
