AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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