clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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