There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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