butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
