sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
