His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize