Plan B is the new Plan A
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
