I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
