shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
