it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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