a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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