he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize