I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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