Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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