My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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