Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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