Having a random hookup so left but love u
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just made out with a guy for $7.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
