love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
