I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
