look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
