East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
