Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
