Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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