I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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