I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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