dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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