You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
