Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
