wakey wakey hands off snakey
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
