I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize