"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
