I love black thongs
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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