rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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