Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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