i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize