So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
