I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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