i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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