It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
